“Branding” continues to be a hot topic on the burnt coffee circuit — aka “local networking groups” lately. As I’ve chewed off a decent sized chunk o’ my career as a “Mad Woman, Copywriter,”  I feel somewhat entitled to weigh in on the subject. As far as how to fix a leaky pipe or prepare your taxes, I promise to keep my mouth shut.

On the other hand, every time I attend a local networking meeting, I always end up sitting across from some self-proclaimed “marketing” expert, who’s actually a plumber, CPA or  attorney. If you do any networking at all, you know this type. They’re the person who stands up when it’s time to do their “pitch” and helpfully tells the group to put a tag line on their business cards. Branding problem solved.

Now, I’m all for left brained people flexing a little creative muscle.  I just want to make sure if you’re going to attempt this sort of “branding” thing, you read the manual first. Starting with Chapter 1:

1) Branding is not a cliched tag line. Wordplay is fun. But simply using puns associated with your industry won’t create a super gluey bond between you and your customer. If anything, you’ll come across trite, superficial and used-car salesmanish. ie: “ABC Financial. Service you can bank on.” Better? “ABC Financial. Your money, baby.” Which leads me to #2.

2) Branding has a personality. Yours. Let’s re-examine the ABC Financial tag line I just created:“Your money, baby.” It’s a take-off on the catch phrase (“You’re money, baby”) popularized by Vince Vaughn in the ‘96 Gen-X cult hit, Swingers. The line is wrong, wrong, wrong coming from oak paneled offices of a traditional financial adviser with baby boomer clients. On the other hand, a younger, more easy going money guy/gal might have commissioned an ad copywriter–hint, hint–to pen it. (My intellectual property, now…”baby.”) Perhaps that person wants to create a niche in serving Gen-X clients. You know,  get them thinking about retirement a little earlier than most. “Your money baby” says, “I understand it’s YOUR money. I need to take care of YOUR money. It also says, “we’re in this together, because I just called you “baby.”

3) Branding isn’t fast. Before you share with prospective clients your business’ supercalifragilistic personality, you must first understand it yourself. This could take time. And you might, could use a little help. Because, oft times, it’s just a little tricky to truly see our own truth. It just is. You might ask your customers, suppliers and family pet what makes your business unique? I’m kidding about the pet. Or am I? But anyways, you would ask something like, “Why should you let me (insert what your business does here) instead of (insert your competitors) help you?”  Not until you’ve boiled it down to that one thing that makes your capitalistic endeavor special, dare you print that tagline on your biz card.

4) Branding isn’t just graphic and written communication elements. The words and pictures come after the strategic planning has been done. See #2 and #3.

5) There’s no five. Five tips would be too neat and tied up in a perfect little bow much like a cliched tag line. Understanding 1-4 is a good start for the self-marketing entrepreneur. You’re better off spending time trying to know what you do best, rather than writing puns. Especially if you’re a lawyer.

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